Why don’t we, erm, just have less government?

In this election campaign everyone, but everyone, is saying that taxes are going to rise whoever does what. Which leads to one point which is just plain and simple. We can’t have more nice things from government because we’ve already spent all the money. This must be true - if we’ve already got to increase taxes over and above their highest rate for 8 decades to pay for the things we’ve already promised ourselves then we cannot then also buy ourselves other nice new things.

This leads on to the second point, which is that if we do desire new things from government then we’re going to have to do without some of the things we already get from it.

Now, yes, this is trivial and yet it is still indicative:

Michael Landy’s Lemon Meringue, which has been installed in East Bank in east London, consists of a series of large fluorescent signs depicting different cockney rhyming slang – rhyming phrases used to replace words.

The installation includes phrases such as “apples and pears” (stairs), “S Club Seven” (heaven), “duck and dive” (hide), “April showers” (flowers) and “dog and bone” (phone), as well as additions to the dialect such as “chicken jalfrezi” (crazy) that speak to more recent diasporic influences on the area.

We seem to have modern art celebrating Cockney rhyming slang by someone who doesn’t understand how Cockney rhyming slang works.

The direct description:

The artwork was commissioned as part of the Waterfront Art within Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park curated by Louise Trodden on behalf of London Legacy Development Corporation. It is associated with the cultural and education organisations of East Bank.

Michael Landy has named the artwork 'Lemon Meringue' as according to the conventions of the style that means 'Rhyming Slang'.

Yes, we are paying for this. And according to the conventions it should be called “Lemon”. For the entire and whole point of rhyming slang is that the rhyme is not said.

Apples and pears does not mean stairs. Apples means stairs. Derived from the phrase apples and pears, indeed, but the “and the rhyme” is always left unsaid. Brahms and Liszt does not mean pissed but Brahms does. Boat race does not mean face but “boat” does.

The man’s plastering the environment with his ignorance.

Now, some of us would suggest that we the people shouldn’t be paying for modern art at all. I certainly stand by the argument that we should abolish the Arts Council entirely - thus not paying for old art either - and all such tendrils and sucker-growths into the public purse. But I’m willing to agree that I’m an extremist on this matter. An extremist who has a point up to the point of being right about this but an extremist all the same.

But perhaps we can all agree that we should not be forced to pay for people to display their ignorance? Restrict tax funding only to that portion of governance that is being done by the competent and knowledgeable?

Oh, good, well that is nice. So, what are you going to do with your 90% tax refund then?

Tim Worstall

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